10/24/11 Raw-Down

Spit it out!!

You can make "friends" with the owner’s daughter AND make money!!!!

Much to my surprise, the first twenty-seven minutes of this week’s Raw was spent on a weak feud between HHH and Big Sexy.  I say weak because I don’t find it interesting to have to sit through a half-explained feud between two genuine stars (Nash is still a star) who not only have a history in the WWE, but a history with each other—one that is deeper and richer than most of the current or past stars on the roster.  Don’t we deserve a story that is almost as rich and detailed as the history these two have together?  I think so. 

Another disservice to the history involved was perpetrated by HHH himself, with his omission of Scott Hall in his list of close friends in the business (members of the “Kliq.”  Which upon further reflection makes one wonder about the ridiculousness of such a name for a burgeoning group, definitely a name they came up with, as no staff writer would admit to it.)  With the omission of Scott’s name, HHH cemented his status as a corporate lackey and threatened the same status with many of his long time fans, myself included.  How can you make a business decision about your past when it means denying a part of yourself?  Someone who had a part in shaping your overall career?  Yes, there is no denying that Scott Hall is radioactive right now, and has been for a while, but there is no reason to deny the existence of such a person on TV.  If we assume it was for “corporate” purposes, how can you (the corporation, his wife) justify going on ESPN’S E:60 show last week and proudly (Stephanie) exclaim that you are helping the same individual get through his issues?  If this was truly a “corporate” decision, then as a corporation you are investing in a proven losing product, for you have spent in the six figures to try and rehabilitate him.  This whole scene put a bad taste in my mouth and caused me to lose some respect for HHH.  My only hope is that they use this omission, in the feud, as one of the “reasons” that Big Sexy feels HHH has changed (along with his firing, etc.).

Keeping these types of inconsistencies in mind, it doesn’t make sense for HHH to still remain COO and have Laurinaitis report to him.  In the corporate world this is a sign of bad business, and on TV this translates to laziness.  Sure, it’s good for one type of pop (as demonstrated last night), sort of like “cheap” heat.  However, this does risk creating some dissonance with the “intelligent” fan.  We are supposed to believe the following: The owner and creator of the WWE universe is removed completely from power, his son-in-law is placed in “charge”, only to be removed for poor performance, but somehow still maintains power over his replacement.  See what I mean?  Unless you are writing a show like Mad Men or The West Wing, you don’t need this kind of complex corporate/political “gunk” in the pipes.  This is “sports” entertainment, keep it simple and real with the plots and you won’t have fans raising an eyebrow in perplexity. (My apologies to all the “Rock” fans)

Last ,but not least, for a man who took a jackknife powerbomb the night before, you sure faint like a woman, HHH…

How this feud should have played out:

CM Punk and HHH should have continued their rivalry with it culminating in another PPV match with even bigger stakes.  In this match Nash would be allowed ringside in some capacity (an announcer, each side gets to have an enforcer, etc.).  A swerve takes place between Nash and HHH, with Nash destroying HHH.  We later discover that Nash, feeling like a faded “star” and not believing he was ready to be a wrestler in a “Legends” contract, saw Punk as his last chance at WWE stardom.  Along with his “you’ve changed, HHH” reasons, this type of setup would leave us at the same point in the story we are at now, but with way more depth, since we, as fans, would feel the betrayal as well.  Dealing with issues such as fading from glory vs. a peer whose star is still “rising” (and will continue to rise as long as fate doesn’t deal him a cruel hand), is a very real and compelling tale that needs to be told, especially when you have two of the four stars in the world for who this would be “real.”  Who doesn’t want to hear how the “Kliq” really feels about HHH and his current/future status?  I know I do. 

Meaningless Tag matches, you’re not it.

Maybe it’s my fault for watching wrestling while growing up in the 80’s, but I loves-me-some real tag teams and can’t stand having to watch these meaningless tag matches.  Sure Orton, Sheamus, Rhodes and Christian are bonafide stars (Rhodes will get there), yet I want more out of their appearances in the ring, not just some “required” TV time.

If the fans want a real tag division and if the WWE wants to have the same, they can’t allow these types of matches to continue, as they serve to water-down the format.  Having a contest that doesn’t count for anything means that the fans are simply waiting for certain characterizations to play out between the personalities involved.  That tends to get boring, which then places a time limit on such matches, much like the 8 minute match that took place last night.  

TNA seems to have tackled this problem, but to an unsatisfying resolution.  They made matches like this mean something in terms of points, points that served as currency in rankings and rankings that led to a title shot (turned out to be even more meaningless thanks to Hogan, right, Roode?).  This idea deserves to be tinkered with by the think tank at the WWE.  I know I am not the only internet fan asking for the WWE rankings to come back and for good reason.  Give us back the rankings, we need to be able to measure the wrestler’s status in the company, this in turn subliminally affects our internal rankings and at the very least, gives us fans something to talk about online.   Play around with the idea of a tournament (TV only) where wrestlers can use points or rank status to get title shots or MITB cases from other wrestlers.  Match the time invested by your fans and put out a rank sheet.

While we are at the drawing table, can we please get Sheamus vs Orton in a Tan/No Tan match?  If Orton wins, Sheamus has to get a fake tan.  If Sheamus wins OrtAn can’t get one for a month…yup, definitely a PPV match.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, we are treated to a match between Dolph Ziggler and Santino.  The simple fact that someone gets paid to come up with a televised match like this is ridiculous.  They should be ashamed to cash that check.  There is no winner in a match like this, seriously.  (the addition of a run in from Mason Ryan takes the match from meaningless to meaningless with more muscles.)

Taking a break from being the best in the world.

Can we please retire the “Best in the World” shirt until CM Punk regains the title back?  I mean, it doesn’t really make any sense for him to continue to wear it.   What does make sense is re-igniting his feud with Alberto Del Rio.   They seem to have an odd-couple (stylistically) chemistry that I find entertaining and seems to lift-up Alberto Del Rio in the mic spots.

Speaking of mic help, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I am enjoying Laurinaitis’ mic flubs.  This, combined with CM Punk’s help, serves to Adamle-ize, the “Funkman.”  On a more positive side, last night’s spot helped us get into the head of Laurinaitis and learn some of his motivations.  Not surprisingly, CM Punk must have read my blog and used some of my previous points about getting into Laurinaitis’ wrestling past, as a way to get to him.  Metaphorically cracking his head open with his pipe-bomb, we were allowed to see that Ace is seeking respect from the roster, something we know he isn’t going to get and hopefully something we can now see ramp up in the weeks to come.

 Bring back LayCool, please.

It seems like the Diva’s matches consist of Beth and Natalya vs. 3 other girls, who rotate getting crushed, pulling off a miracle win or pulling off a miracle win and getting crushed after the match.  Either way, it’s boring and the Diva’s roster needs more “personality.”  (Sorry Gail Kim, you’re not it.)  Come to think of it, the last time I cared about the divas was when LayCool was around.  Annoying or not, they had “personality” above and beyond the requisite T&A most divas have, leaving us with the obvious key to success: mic skills.  Isn’t it funny how it always seems to boil down to that?  Take a risk with the girls and let them talk, let them team up by way of their ability to play off of each other and see if any “chemistry” takes place.  Right now the faces are coming off as sterile and bland, made worse in counterpoint to the heels, who by nature, come off as “cool.” (I see why girls like bad boys…funny it took wrestling to show me this)  You don’t lose anything by taking such chances with the state of the division now, so take some risks, please!

Twit-wit

Does anyone else find it fascinating how the WWE is promoting the wrestlers’ Twitter accounts?  I think it’s a good thing and mostly feel we have Zack Ryder and friends for the rise in promotion.  They finally realized the power of social media and have harnessed it better than any other sport around.  I guarantee the rest of the professional leagues will get on the train in some form or another, as they really can’t afford not to, in this day and age.  Of course with this comes some form of regulation and I can’t help but wonder if the WWE already has plans and formats for “tweeting.”  If so, this would be a tremendous blow to free speech and enterprise as it should be an individual thing for people to decide what to tweet.  All of the implications involved are deeper than we will get into here, but I ask all of you to see if you notice a difference in the tweets of those you have followed for a while.  See if you get the sense that they are going to make Twitter part of the storyline.  I feel the Rock/Cena Twitter feud straddled the “meta”-line, whereas the recent (last night) JR and Cole feud left no doubt as to the WWE’s hand in things.  As for me, I hope it doesn’t change things.  On the rare occasion I follow a wrestler’s tweets, I like to know that they do the same things I have to do sometimes, like wash clothes, travel in crappy circumstances, and watch TV, and I ‘d like to keep the medium pure and not have to worry that I am being “worked”, as a mark, in an attempt to get to know them.  Because, after all, isn’t the best part of Twitter the feeling that you’re “friends” with this person?

Is this thing on?!?

In case you haven’t heard, Michael Cole is the best thing going on WWE television right now.  I look forward to the Michael Cole challenge next week.

What’s the main event again?

You know Raw is in a bad way when you can’t remember what the main event match is for the night.   It happened to me last night with the forced tag match involving Cena vs. Awesome Truth.  From the early 80’s through the late 90’s/early 2000’s, I sat on the edge of my seat in anticipation of the main event to come on screen.  Not just because the announcers did their job of mentioning it every 10 minutes, but because the match and the personalities involved meant something.  The build-ups these days are as forgettable as the matches and desperately need to be overhauled.  Overhauled in such a way to bring back that old mystique, the feeling that something significant was going to happen and not necessarily a surprise, but something that would keep me going until the next show.  Not something that makes me want to blog negatively about the product.  As a kid, it was Hogan v Macho man for the 10,000^th time and as an adult it was Stone Cold ragging on VKM or the Rock destroying someone he said he was going to destroy and despite me knowing that it was coming up, I still wanted to see it.  What mattered was the quality.  The story mattered so much that we were invested in the outcome.  Invested in the time we spent watching the drama play out on the screen.  Invested in the characters, the one’s they spent years cultivating into stars.   I miss those days, and I know you do too.  Sure, you can claim that now we have 4 times the amount of TV exposure with numerous internet sites leaking information and how that tends to affect our time while watching the product, however you can never ruin the purity of the reason why we are wrestling fans, the sacred logic by which we become a fan “4 life.”  What does have an effect are crappy storylines, weak characters and a rushed sense of timing, all of which we didn’t have in the past.  

While on the subject of haphazard plots, you’re going to tell me that the best the WWE could do was come up with the ending for Raw in just enough time to promote the Rock/Cena tag match at Survivor Series?  I can’t blame the predictability since promotion had already been leaked (bus banners in NY), but the execution could have been better.  And, yes, I am aware that you are dealing with absence of the Rock to help lend his voice to the promotion, but you do have the other half of the tag team and need to allow him to put his own spin on things.  You could tell that it looked like Cena was following a script to the letter (no, not commenting on his acting ability).  He is the company’s top star for a reason, so let him put his own flair on things, he can carry the load and has in the past.  Hopefully, between now and the PPV, the Rock can institute some drama in the team-up (which as of this post, he has). 

On the other side of the coin, what a great bump for Awesome Truth.  The amount of media coverage is going to be huge and can only mean bigger things for them.  This will give the Miz more confidence and allow him to evolve into an even bigger personality and hopefully another title run.  As for Truth, this is pretty much on par with his biggest match in his WWE run and, he, too, needs to take this opportunity to get to the next level.   I would like to see them get a fair shot against Rock/Cena, and not get crushed.  In fact, I would love for them to get the win and further fuel the rift between the Rock and Cena, since we will need a lot of drama to carry this feud through completion at Wrestlemania. 

That’s all for now, see you next week.

Post-script

The second I saw this on TV, I knew it would be on youtube. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the only way the Rock shall be introduced from now on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcpgfwCg82U

What do you think of Camo-Cena?

Viva Raw!

10-17-11  Raw-Down

Viva Raw!

Every once and a while it’s nice to not follow the e-rags or pay too close attention to where Raw is going to be for the week, allowing for one to be pleasantly surprised upon realization that it was in Mexico City, a first for Raw.  Having no prior knowledge of this, I was surprised to see the Mexican flag on either side of the Raw TV “banner” and thought that Alberto Del Rio was taking advantage of the chaos in management and orchestrating a hostile take over of sorts.  Finally, something “raw”  (yeah so what?) and divisive was going to be coming through my television and, more importantly, wrestling was going to be the medium.   Much to my dismay,  it turned out that Raw was simply showing respect to its host country…how boring!  “Entertainment” should convey a number of things to the viewer, and one of those things should be to instill a sense of pride in the “product” and, as of now, Raw is doing the opposite.  I am proud to be a wrestling fan, yet I ‘ll admit to a bit of sheepishness when revealing my “passion” to a colleague or client.   Why is this?  Because of the stigma involved?  I thought about this question all night and usually do this after an especially awful show, and came up with the following: I’m not ashamed to be a wrestling fan, I’m ashamed of putting my valuable time towards the “product.”  When the highlights of a show amount to 20 minutes of a whole 2 hour show, I’m going to regret putting the time into it.  It’s like spending 14 bucks to see a waste of a movie every week and yet still hoping that the next one will be worth your 14 dollars.  Last night’s Raw was a poor excuse for a show, leaving me bored out of my mind.  So much so that the “Psych” commercials were more interesting that what Raw had to offer…and that’s pretty bad.

Personalaurinitasy

So, now we are to believe that “Ace” has a personality?  He’s not just a bland corporate, power-hungry thug?  He has motive and reason all of which is tied to a personality?  What a relief!  It’s definitely a good thing you didn’t show this to us earlier or it would have tipped us off to him being…INTERESTING!  Did you withhold this information so as to create a “mystery” of sorts? Sorry to break the news to you, but we all knew it was Ace that was screwing over HHH, and if by some reason you decided to go with someone else, we still need him to have a personality other than what the rest of the roster feels or says about him. 

Ace fumbled verbally during his in-ring spot, and, as I’ve said before, I like it when the person in power is an idiot.  Especially when that someone is in stark contrast with the roster and the upper management, both of whom worked their way up the ranks.  Adamle is a the perfect example of this.  I feel that Ace should try and be as incompetent as he can be.  It will give the position more “flavor” because of his wrestling past and his newfound ability to be more corporate than corporate (something they should go for) and exploit his wrestling past by denying it and making the wrestlers feel so out of sync with the person in charge.  This dynamic will play extremely well for both sides and give him that sinister reality-bending psychology that villainous leaders need.

My kingdom for a real GM

Since last night’s RAW was so terrible, it got me to thinking about RAW GM’s.  The top two in my head are:

VKM – a classic.

Bischoff- well executed

There is someone on the roster that has potential and should be groomed to be the GM as soon as possible, that person is: MICHAEL COLE.  He was on top of his game last night and actually reminded me of VKM in many of his mannerism.  Get him out of the booth and into the role.  He is someone who is naturally “that” person, and his history would a rich tapestry to pull from, being that he has so much cred from being an announcer.  Sure he would have to work on being “fair”, at least in the beginning, but can’t you see him as a perfect blend of Bischoff and VKM?  Coming off as a Caesar-like character and making the wrestlers feel as though they are gladiators for his entertainment (and making the fans feel left out)?  God, this would be the best of both worlds.  Why can’t the WWE see this?  I would buy any merchandise Cole had out right now, as he is easily one of the most entertaining “characters” on the roster.  Let him be in charge (on TV) of the wrestlers, give the heels the role of getting him in the position, through all sorts of character building techniques (we’ve discussed in past blog posts), only to have Cole turn on everyone once he achieves his god-like status.  Don’t you remember how much heat he had as the voice of the lap-top GM?  Do it!  Give the guy whatever he wants to leave the booth and make the move.  It will help save the ratings and the stock.  To be completely honest, the WWE needs to be concerned with announcers jumping ship to ESPN.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater…

I will admit that the WWE did a really good thing with what had the potential of being a snoozefest, the 6-man tag match.  What started as a boring 6-man tag turned into good singles’ promos.  Cody and Orton exploding,  Sheamus and Christian heating up.  Jobber-JOMO getting crushed…oh wait, not that spot.

Who doesn’t like bacon…

Miz and R-truth were the only entertaining spots of the night.  They are the only two with personality that stands apart from the rest of the roster.  Their over-the-top-ness is refreshing and a throwback to the bad guys of old, guys like Piper, Hollywood Hogan, etc. heels with crazy eyes matching their intentions, big personalities to match the crowds appetite for excitement.  Right now, Miz is a fearless motor-mouth and Truth is crazy enough to pull stuff off, so I dub them the bacon of the WWE. 

The odd-odd couple

Not really digging the CM Punk/HHH best pals routine.  What does it accomplish?  If anything it waters down CM Punk’s change angle, as he’s too busy dealing with this dynamic.  I let this one play out a bit more before I pass judgment.

Latina World Order

Vickie G. rocked last night.  That is all.

Random

There’s a special place in hell for Cena haters who thought all those Mexican women in the crowd with Cena t-shirts were hot…

Zig Ziggler

When did Dolph start to refer to himself as “The Heel” or “The Show-STEALER?”  Clearly he is stealing something…

Along for the Ryde-r

We still seem to be getting a little Ryder “push”, unfortunately it’s at the expense of someone who needs a push themselves.  I like the fact he is getting TV time, we can’t deny the guy put in his “grind”…and now it’s paying off for him.  What I would like to see is for this comedic persona to play its course, leaving us with a clear path for a “serious” roster spot.  We all know these gimmick have a short shelf life, with Santino being the only one to have kept it going for so long (that and it was probably a good thing he was off TV for a bit).   I say we keep this run going for a few months and build it to a US Title or Intercontinental Title match with Ryder coming in as the underdog, with “heart,” who ends up getting crushed, and I mean stretcher-off-of-TV-for-3-months “crushed.”  He can then come back with an “edge” and the crowd on his side, from the beat-down, to finally capture said title, and see if the crowd accepts him.  I know I would at least give him a chance and feel that most fans would do the same. 

Random

Ricardo Rodriguez had the best quote of the night: (while announcing ADR to the crowd, translated) “He is a Mexican who is more Mexican than you!”  Brilliant.

Flat Finish

Are we really supposed to care that Cena went nuts and crushed ADR at the end of the match?  I don’t think so.  Displays such as this are the television equivalent of someone flexing their muscles in front of a mirror.  Who cares?  This didn’t make me want to watch the PPV (Cody Rhodes does).  Here’s an idea, why not have some of ADR’s old foes from the Mexican federations come out earlier in RAW and have them pretend to want to attack Alberto, later on in the show put them in as “lumberjacks” for the main event and then pull a swerve with ADR buying them off as they all pounce on Cena (well, really only ADR).  This would have made for an eventful night, something we all would have been talking about today, something the WWE has been lacking for quite some time now.

Until next week, Adios for now

Raw-Down 10-10-11

The Island of Misfit Spots and Wrestlers

Pre- Random

Can we please add back Jim Ross’ “The whole world is watching” comment to the Raw intro?  I get tired of having it go off in my head and not hearing an echo. 

Speaking of incomplete…

To touch on some failing points from last week, it was evident this week that the writers and producers made a decision to “show” more than tell, a good thing in my book, setting the mood and the course for the evening.  Now, this is not to say that the WWE didn’t do its fair share of “tell” as well.  By my count, there was a total of 10 minutes (approx) of wrestling in the first hour of the show, which normally doesn’t do the show any favors, but in this instance (namely, strong “show” right off the bat) it worked…that is, until the show went off the rails in the latter half.   Read on for more on this.

Face-A-Palooza

How boring, forced and predictable was the face parade in support of HHH?  It was clear, last week, that they would play a major role in the next Raw and,  based on this information, the WWE had a responsibility to ensure that it did not come off flat and uninspired.  In the interest of clarification (and confusion, possibly) I want to make this clear: CENA, CM PUNK, SHEAMUS AND HHH DID NOT COME ACROSS FLAT AND UNINSPIRED, THE SPOT DID.  The only reasons we all didn’t turn off our sets was because they are all so damn good on the mic.  This scenario, a common one for the WWE, was not a total loss, for it brought forth the following epiphany: Right now, the WWE has the A-list faces, who are great on the mic (what television and marketing needs more than being great in the ring) and the B-level talent that aren’t so good on the mic, both of which are not being utilized for maximum impact.   How do we solve this problem?  Give them both STRONG storylines and character arcs that enable us to forgive their “weaknesses.”  It’s no secret that wrestling fans have a deep history of LOYALTY, we attach ourselves  to wrestlers for no particular reason other than some need inside of us (Freudians enjoy).  Not to belabor the obvious but let’s have some examples:

Case study #1 JOMO has a loyal fan base or the WWE wouldn’t bother with a T-shirt (more than one to date) and his major skill lies “in-ring.”   This means someone out there likes this guy and will spend money with his vote for JOMO.  In stark contrast, all the Rock needs to do is post on Youtube/Twitter and Facebook and the WWE fans geek out.  Why?  Because the vision for his character is so pure and strong that it can’t be denied by the fans.  His vision becomes our vision, whether we like it or not.   How does this all tie into my original point?  Here you go: JOMO has been the same stale persona for a while (never fully committing, whether that be the fault of the WWE or JOMO himself is another issue entirely) and the only time I felt he was going to “break-through” was during his tag team time with the Miz.  This made me realize that the Miz carried JOMO, making him look better than he was by lending his (mic skills) voice to someone who desperately needed them.  THIS is what the WWE needs to do, bump up those B-listers who can wrestle, make sure they are at the wrestling level where they can make those in the ring with them look awesome and, in turn, use the A-level talent to make the B-listers look good on the mic.  It sounds tricky, conceptually, but it can be accomplished.  Think about this:  Do you remember when Cena pumped up Evan Bourne?  I do.  I remember it climaxed with a tag team match of which they ended up victorious and it served not only to put a notch in the belts of either wrestlers, but it made Cena look like a better wrestler  (thanks to Bourne’s skills) and lent Cena’s voice to Evan Bourne, who is not so good on the mic.  These are the types of symbiotic relationships the WWE needs to exploit regularly.  These can also work antagonistically, given the right type of matches and vignettes.  All in all, it’s not wrestling hasn’t experimented with throughout history, it just seems to be another level above pairing a wrestling stud (Lesnar) with a mic-manager (Heyman).  What do you guys think? Who do you think would pair up well and why?

Fix for the Face Parade

I really wish that the A-listers would have talking to those outside and not HHH.  It would have served to create the interaction I listed above and not to come off as obvious pandering to the fans and HHH, all of which was a cover for what was to come later in the show.

What, no Raw Bashing?

I really did like the impromptu matchup between Cena and Sheamus, with CM Punk announcing.  It gave Raw an ECW/INDY “barebones” feel to a normally slick and massive machine.  Prompting another epiphany: The WWE needs think this way when trying to pull off their spin-offs.  Imagine NXT (its original TV incarnation) with a heavy indy/ECW feel to it?  Put it on some smaller cable (yet accessible) channel and I bet you the fans will find it and eat it up.  This “massive-machine” spectacular that they gave us did nothing to help us connect with the wrestlers.  Make us feel for the mood and the conditions and this fanbase will connect.  Heck most of this whole machine is based on us wanting to be these guys in some form or another.  Remember the failure of ECW once the WWE took control?  I feel it failed because the fans couldn’t find a way to get over the name of the show not being anywhere near the original vision and “feel”.  Do you remember the first time you caught and ECW (og) show on some hidden cable channel at an un-godly hour?  I do.  For me it was on a public access channel at midnight and I couldn’t wait for it to come on.  It was so different and “original” that I felt like I was discovering wrestling as a kid, all over again.  Think about this:  Look at what Zack Ryder was able to do for his career with just a camera and youtube (and the help of his friends).  Talk about no budget, yet he found a way to creep into our vision and into the WWE’s vision as well (ok, maybe the side rear view mirror, but still in “vision.”

Random

Cena’s mention of Adamle was awesome.  I guess I’m the only one who remembers that period of the WWE fondly.  I mean c’mon, who hasn’t had a boss like Adamle?  Someone your company brought in green and gave them enormous power and influence?  Someone you had to teach about the business.  Done properly this could have worked.  In fact, I would have scripted more errors for the guy, burying him with the fans and wrestlers, leading up to his wrath of incompetence on those who dared to speak out against him.

VKM is just for men

Did you notice the new and improved hair color Vinny Mac had on display last night?  Is it possible that the only reason the “firing” storyline took place was so he could dye his hair, stay off TV for a while and hope that nobody noticed?  I’d hate to think so, but wouldn’t put it past him. 

Speaking of VKM…

I was GENUINELY surprised to see Vince come out, something that has rarely happened this year. 

HOLD THAT THOUGHT

Because the WWE didn’t allow the HHH/COO storyline to gestate properly, Vince’s firing of HHH had no “snap” to it.  (Also, how could the WWE miss the chance for Vince to say his trademark: “YOU’RE FIIIIIIIRRRREEDDD?”)

For storyline purposes it makes more sense to have Laurinatus (now a more confident Vince wanna-be) fire HHH.   With a vote of confidence from the board, it makes sense to have a rejuvenated Laurinatus come and feel he can “takedown” someone of HHH’s caliber.  It would serve to give him more heat and show that his villainy actually has some (much needed) depth to it.   

Random

The coolest thing about JOMO is his new T-shirt.  JOMOSAPIEN4LIFE.

T-Shirt Idea for Mark Henry

HALL OF PAIN

Est. 15 YEARS AGO!!!!!!!

(Standard Names On the Back: Orton, Big Show, KING)

Cody-fied

I have to say, I am loving the way Cody is moving up in the ranks.  (Not too mention his changing the intercontinental title back to the one I enjoyed as a kid) 

Character-wise it is brilliant to have him feud with Orton like he did.  It serves to make a lesser title mean something, on top of recognizing the holder of that title as a major threat.  A masterstroke.  The WWE need to make the holders of those types of titles MAJOR PLAYERS, so much so that they have an affect on the A-level talent.  I cannot stress enough how great it was to see that happen and I hope they continue this trend (what I hope is the start of one).

What time is it?

Unfortunately, one of the things that plagued this week’s show was bad timing.  I think all of the talking in the first hour put the show out-of-sync, causing the second hour to suffer the consequences.  Every time the show wanted to garner some momentum, they had to cut to commercial (heck, cutting to commercial on wrestling entrances is a tell-tale sign somebody messed up). 

Random

Can we get more Rosa Mendez on TV?  Please!

Adios JR

As upset as I was last week with JR leaving as he did, I have to say, I wasn’t surprised he was fired.  He truly deserved some sort of reprimand for his foolish choice and yet it seemed to lack the impact the WWE wanted it to have.  It also seemed like business as usual as soon as he left.  This left me very confused and ,since it came off that way, it made the situation sad and more pathetic (not the way they intended it to be, this more on the delivery) than meant to be.   Definitely not what the WWE wanted.  It also seemed to fly over the heads of the fans and, considering the location, added to its “weirdness.”

Just add high energy.

The end of Raw needs to be the time where everything established  at the beginning starts to come together, NOT a time for a high-energy, meaningless tag-team match.

High Heels…

…Not.  I am sorry, but this heel “faction” is weak.  Pump them up, or they will not be worthy of even this mention.  Right now is a perfect time for each of them to have their own individual takes on this situation.  They should all be looking to exploit the background chaos to their advantage, taking into account their own character strengths.  Otunga needs to be worming his way to power.  Christian needs to be a strong heel leader.  Jack Swagger needs to be a machine in the ring, a technical destroyer.  Ziggler a whiny heel--pretty much what he’s doing right now.  The only other acceptable route is FACTIONS!!!!!  And you all know where I stand on that subject.  

From Flat to Flatter

Did anyone care or feel any surprise for the return of the MIZ and R-Truth? Again, it all seemed so forced and quick that I barely had time to register or believe their firing, so why invest anything in them.  I’ll just accept them back because we need heels with a strong vision right now.   I think we covered a great “missed-opportunity” for them last week and, really, anything short of that falls…well…flat.

The Raw I want to see:

Raw made the mistake of mentioning 2 potentially huge storylines they “flopped” in the past year or so, they are as follows:

1.     Sheamus laying out HHH as he said good-bye to Shawn Michaels

2.     Laptop Raw GM

I felt Sheamus laying out HHH at such an awful time needed to be resolved to a satisfying multi-PPV conclusion.  NOT a quick, one-off destroying of Sheamus in order to hype another match.  These sorts of spots get to engrained into fan’s memories and are easy “money makers” in terms of getting over on the fans.   Heck, part of me even still wants to see the rivalry renewed. (This is second only to me waiting for one final CM PUNK/JEFF HARDY re-match.  C’mon you know you want it!!!!)

And finally, we deserve to find out who the Raw Laptop gm was.  So much so that we should start a petition to find out what they were planning.   When I think about how much time I spent trying to play with the idea and going over scenarios in my head, it makes me angry that I never got to see the final piece of the puzzle.  This is one of the things that makes me pull away from the WWE and I hope they have less and less of these spectacles wasting my time.

Until next time.

Hunter Hearst Soprano

10.3.11 Raw-Down Points of Interest

Random

Randy Orton is second only to the Undertaker for taking too much time to get to the ring.  Seriously.  Even Cena-haters gotta love the fact that it takes him all but 10 seconds to rush into the ring.

Not so Random

If the “tension” in the locker room is going to be the big story on Raw, SHOW me the “tension”, don’t have Cole keep repeating it ad-nauseum, then show it to me.  We can all agree that the announcing works best in concert with vignettes sprinkled masterfully throughout the show.   Better yet, have a vignette with the announcers getting into some “tension” on the way to the booth and go from there.  The fans will appreciate that more than the spoken word of Michael Cole. 

Drew Macandtire.

What are you doing? Where are you going? The Dave Matthews Band needs to do this guy’s ring entrance music.  I heard boring looked him up in the dictionary.   Damn it, the man’s a friggin’ Highlander, for real!  Do something with him, WWE!  You can’t let a guy hang his hat on a feud with Matt Hardy!  So, sad.

I’ll give this one to you for free: Frustrated and not able to get “over” (Do this over a period of 2-3 months, having vignettes that show corporate leaning towards letting him go), Drew snaps and starts copying gimmicks of super-over stars from the past, i.e. Sean Michaels, Stone Cold, but with a slicker edge, in the tone of making fun of the fans for putting people like that over.   With this, you are tapping into his, “I’m the next big thing” type talk he’s been touting ever since he came into the company.  Finally, have him land into a Rowdy Roddy Piper crazy “real” Scotsman vibe.  Let him make it his own like you allowed Sheamus to be “Irish”.

A Voice for the Voiceless…

Who would have thought that the best thing going in the WWE right now is a feud between two wrestlers—none of which is a true “face”—with horrible mic skills? 

I find it very odd that the “Hall of Pain” is already a classic and, well, so is the Viper.

If a world strongest slam happens in the forest, does anyone hear it?

Am I alone in the desire to hear the back story for the decision to push Mark Henry?  I would love to get the inside scoop sometime.  Guess I’ll have to wait for the “New Nation” DVD to come out in 10 years…

Too funny to pass up

Jim Ross on JOMO being in the ring with Mark Henry: “…To be in the ring with a beast.”

I am sure that after dealing with Melina in real life being in the ring with Mark Henry is a breeze.

ACE-initas

I’m sorry, but they haven’t given Laurinitas enough of a personality to make me care either way about him.  And, I have to say, that this is such a grand omission that it must have been done on purpose.   Sure he had anti-roster exec “cred” because of his dealings with CM Punk and the mass firings leading up to it, but they missed out on making him more of a focal point, one EQUAL to HHH.  Booking HHH with heavy TV time weakened any opposition that Laurinatus might have had, tipping the scales way over to the non-Laurinatus side. This is why this storyline doesn’t seem to “flow”.  How am I to accept that Laurinatis is the “big bad”?  Behind the scenes really doesn’t work in this situation because of this imbalance.

Help: Play up the fact that he was a “failed” wrestler that never got over (whether true or not), have the roster contribute to this ridicule and then, slowly, but surely start to build up his chaos abilities.  Yes,, of course I realize HHH is gonna look strong because he is always over, but that only proves my point that the WWE missed the chance to make Laurinitas, at the very least, a formidable opponent worthy of bringing HHH down. 

Unless of course the WWE wanted this unequal footing for Laurinitus to make us fans even more incensed when it occurred…but this seems more like a move from a by-gone era where the fans were a bit less analytical and social-media didn’t exist.  Your fans are smarter now than ever before, they know more about your business and the world, they demand robust characters and detailed plots if they are going to lend their time to your company, so take heed or weeks worth of TV time will be all for naught.

Random

Jack Swagger REALLY towers over the other B-level heels…can someone please work on his diction and get him past his All-American-American gimmick?  We all know he has the skill-sets, in ring, to be an “A” level talent, he just needs an “edge”.  Please find it for him or help him find it.

Aleatorio

In Alberto Del Rio’s speech last night, I can guarantee that it was the first time in the history of “Spanglish” that the word “Hooligans” was used.  Unless, of course, it’s all the rage at Mexican Aristocrat Scrabble parties.

Heel’s gonna be Heeling

What good comes out in having all of the heels in the WWE to be at the forefront of ousting HHH?  I ask because of the absence of real A-LEVEL faces at these “functions”.  All it seems to do is group them together as whiney, little punks, while only some of them work properly as such.  I understand that HHH is a mighty enemy for the B-listers to face alone, but that only means you need to re-think the angle.  Let those whiney “B’ level guys get in the ears of the other “B” level brawn, which then spreads its way into an A-level heel or multiple A-level heels.  A win-win for everyone.

Killer Kelly Kelly

Seriously, even going apeshit crazy, she is still cute as a button!

The return of Super Santino, or “Burying Jinder”

When did Santino start looking like Chavo?

Brodus Clay-mation

Are you serious?  Not me, I can’t take anyone in King Kong Bundy tights seriously.  Let’s go more Vader (Van not Darth) than Bundy (unless we are talking serial killers).

Truth for sale, AWESOMEly cheap

Is anyone else buying this Miz/R-Truth angle like the WWE wants?  It has the feel of a watered-down-Daniel-Bryan-suspended-meets-TNA-writing feel to it.  Remember that angle?  Not only were fans rabid for his return, but they were seeking him out online and at shows,  and, for a time, he was more popular that anyone they were showing on TV in the Nexus.  It still amazes me to this day how they fumbled his return and made him into a joke instead of an under-sized shaved headed bad-ass who can put on a match for the fans.  SOONER OR LATER THE WWE WILL REALIZE THAT THE SPORT OF MMA CAN BE USED TO HELP OUT THOSE THEY FEEL ARE “UNDER-SIZED”.  Submissions don’t have height requirements and neither do well-executed strategies.  I get a sense that the WWE wants to be apart from the MMA craze, yet are glad to supply them with athletes as well as use—some of these same athletes—promotionally.  Embrace the times, WWE.  It makes perfect sense that an “older” Undertaker would resort to MMA-style submissions because IT WILL SAVE WEAR AND TEAR ON HIS BODY, FURTHERMORE, IT MAKES SENSE THAT A SMALLER WRESTLER COULD DO THE SAME IN ORDER TO BEAT A BIGGER WRESTLER.

Back to Miz and R-Truth. This needed to have a stronger foundation with the fans. Let them be fired for a couple of weeks and wrestle elsewhere. How cool would it be to read that they tore up some crappy indy shows or wrestled for titles in Japan.  Meet us halfway, help us to help us “buy-in” more than not just a pseudo-firing with a lawsuit a week later?  My head is spinning from this poor planning.  Let them be a force at the indy level as a tag team, or in Japan for a while.  FORCE me to buy into them as a group before they have such a sway in the WWE.

Random

Vickie Guerrero has some guns!  Looks good on her, now she needs to get a new hair-do and be allowed to grow into the elder (in a good way) stateswoman for the WWE, a true representation of strong female empowerment.  Think about this, she has been through it all, in and out of the ring and not only survived, but succeeded.  Hopefully, they are saving this for when her daughter makes it to the “show” and we can have some real heart-wrenching scenes where the daughter begs the mom to change and be the real WWE role-model she needs.  YOU WANT A DIVA’S division WWE?  Make us care about them, rather than drool over them in magazines. (Too much soy milk in my diet)

A waste of time

I’m sorry but a 12-man tag-match is not only boring, but serves as a semicolon where the WWE wanted an exclamation point.  It could only serve as a precursor for the “vote of confidence” segment, yet, when the time came, the WINNERS or A-level face superstars were nowhere to be found.  How weak is that? 

When matches like this occur, as well as the aftermath, we, the fans, see the great levels of disparity between the A’s and B’s.  We realize that the A’s are not present and thus separate anything on screen to B level status, this, in turn, is confirmed by YOU, the WWE.   Now, the affect is this: Why am I going to pay for a PPV when all I get is B- level talent, confirmed by you?

The only answer I have for something like this is Vince’s creation of WWE Superstars, and not wrestlers.  Maybe, we, the public are slamming our heads because we want to fit the WWE into wrestling, but are not watching wrestling.  Maybe, we are watching a new form of entertainment and drama with wrestling as the context, something solely created in the head of Vince, something we need to learn to accept.  By accepting this concept wholly, we must rid ourselves of our old notions about wrestling.  Somehow, I must forget about the 4 Horsemen and the NWO of my youth, and start thinking in terms of flaccid storylines that a segment of my fellow Raw fans eat up because it’s the only thing in town.  The truth is, the WWE makes money off what they offer, yet a majority of online fans are tired of the same old thing, but do nothing about it.  Vote with your time, vote with your money, vote with your voice, but don’t not vote just because you can’t give something up.  I love parts of the WWE, but after a poor Raw, I feel like it’s a bad habit that I should consider giving up.  Anyone else feel that way?

Degeneration COO

I don’t have much to say about this except for the following:

It is a POWERFUL thing to have the entire roster together on screen like that.  The only time I recall this ever happening is when another wrestler has died.  This creates such a powerful emotional moment that to cheapen it with a half-ass, not fully invested storyline really pisses me off.  And to use someone like JR, with huge cred with the fans, to sell a point, is pretty low.  JR’s leaving and the non-impact it had on me was so infuriating that I felt bad for him.   Don’t resort to cheap tricks like this WWE, you are much better than that.

On another note, we discussed the HHH as COO timeline last week and decided that it was too early to pull off this kind of Raw.  Let’s be honest, it fell flat despite HHH’s awesome mic spots.  

It would have been cool if the feed just “cut-off” as the production team decided it was too dangerous to continue (even though they hadn’t been invaded yet).

One last point

If the WWE is going to run with this HHH as unfit COO storyline, IT IS TIME FOR THE RISE OF THE FACTIONS!!!!  I can’t think of a better time for the WWE to allow for the creation of new teams of wrestlers, governing themselves as well as a WWE they feel cannot protect them.  Heck, I would love to see a storyline where the Refs hire a faction to protect them.  This would completely make sense and allow the fans to buy in on those wrestlers you want to get more exposure.  Nexus should get back together with Daniel Bryan as the lead.  New Nation.  Zack Ryder and a J.O.B. type squad.  SES brought back in for protetction of CM PUNK (with less “were better than you” mic spots).  And the best part? You set up for a sweet old-school survivor series, with the fate of who runs Raw and Smackdown, as a faction, on the line!!  Bring it on WWE!!!